Tantalizing and frustrating

I asked my beloved this afternoon whether we were going to have a chance to have a conversation about Ms. Rika's book today. She said, "Depending on how the rest of the day schedules out, but certainly not before dinner." I said, "I'm glad I asked. If we don't manage it today, I'd like to do it soon." And indeed, if we don't manage it today, I am going to try to schedule it with her for as soon as we can this week.

So one of the things I hate most in this world is gardening. But my beloved and I are clearly poking around service submission, without saying so in quite so many words. Although more words got said today.

She said that some gardening chores needed to be done, and I had a question to ask about them, so I asked her. As we were walking in, she said, "So, are you doing what you want to do, or rather, what you don't like doing?" - sort of joking as if wonder the right way to put it. I said, "If it's what you want done, then it's what I want to do."

A couple of minutes later, she said, "I think picking the book you did was the best possible choice. I really like the emphasis on 'fundamental relationship' and on communications. Of all the books out there, I can't imagine a better approach." I was thrilled. Then she said, "If we really do this, you're not going to have much time. We've structured our lives so that we do a lot of ourside activities: committees, boards, etc. Are you going to have time to do that? How's that going to work?" I started to answer, and she said, "I just want you to think about it for when we have this discussion."

So am I on cloud nine or what? I did do four more hours of gardening after that, and was happy, so as not to say aroused, the whole time.

But now it's late, there's kid homework to be done, and I somehow doubt our conversation will happen today.

This patience business is very hard. But I'm managing.

I don't know how long I can do the "service submission" thing without an arrangement in place - without the "Acceptance from a position of dominance," but I'm sure as heck trying.