Monday, July 31, 2006


You know, this "paying attention to what she says" thing shouldn't be that hard. But it is. I'm actually enjoying trying to pay attention, but finding that even in the smallest ways, it takes some attention.

Yesterday I was trying to eat a sandwich, hold a cup of coffee, and drive all at the same time. My immediate response to "Let me hold that coffee for you" was not "Thank you" or "Of course," but some lame-brained excuse. 3 seconds latter I figured it out and suggested the cup-holder unless she felt otherwise. I know she didn't notice, but at least it made sense to me that I figured it out and came up with a solution.

Today there were about four things I wanted to do after work, but as she was leaving for her meeting, she casually said, "You could smoke that chicken tonight." The first reaction: "Ahh, I'm not sure how good I'm feeling." Which was true - I'd just taken an hour nap after work, which I never do. But the second reaction was, "If I possibly feel well enough, I certainly will." Needless(?) to say, the chicken is in the smoker.

So I'll try to stay persistent and keep at it.


saratoga said...

Yes, it's the small things that can aid in psychological, emotional training. There are more of them, and they are easier to do.

Btw, on your prior post, about division of labor.

I came to the conclusion that this is one of those things that simply makes sense in today's society. Each partner being explicit about what share of the work they do.

In that sense, as I have discussed with many Dominas, FemDom has, as one of its virtues, explicitly helping the intelligent, task-driven male to refocus on his partner, his responsibilities, etc, by making them part of his perpetual task list.

Polyfetishist said...

Tiredness is a great enemy of submissive behavior. So hard to pay attention to another if you are exhausted or your mind is blurry from a nap.

But as you yourself see it becomes habitual after a little practice.