Friday, July 28, 2006

Weaving in the Raveled End

In so many ways, the last 50+ years have been full and rewarding. From what felt to a teenager like an implausible start, there has been family, community, work, travel, spirituality, and more ... all of which has brought me to a beautiful place, with a wonderful family, good friends, a comfortable job, a life in my community - in short, what ought to be a very satisfying, if unremarkable, life.

Though it all, though, there has been on end that refuses to weave itself into my life - or which I refuse to weave into my life. This is my exploration of this stubbornly unraveled end.

It goes by many names and has many faces - most generally power exchange in relationships, also known as dominance and submission. It's a big complicated subject that I've been wrestling with for years, not all that successfully. Recently, I came across the Wikipedia definition, and it's far better than any other that I've read - it really captures what this is about for me; you can read it if you like:

My flavor? Yet another of the legion of submissive males, trying to make some kind of satisfying life. But recently I've come across a handful of concepts that seem to start this making a little more sense to me than it's made before. They go by the name of "Loving Female Authority", "Female Led Relationships", and "Wife Worship".

I'm hoping that somewhere in here is a way of structuring my world that will let me accept my self, stop hiding from the woman I love the best, and weave that strand into my life. Right now that weaving takes a couple of forms: really working at accepting who I am, and trying to read constructively what other people are writing and living about this, while avoiding the temptation of unrequited male fantasies, a shoal upon which many seem to founder.

Forthwith, then, my attempts, observations, readings, and reflections. In short, my journey.

1 comment:

Polyfetishist said...

I like "woman worship" myself - I'm in love but we're not married.

Always glad to see another articulate F/m blog writer.