Thursday, August 10, 2006


One of my biggest frustrations in my forays around the blogosphere is finding a wonderful entry and forgetting where it was. Or even posting a comment to it and forgetting where I did that. Hey, maybe it's a 50+ thing - or actually, I think it's all the activities that get packing into everyday life at this point.

Anyway, even though it's out of the chronology of the thing, I hope to come back here and link to my favorite posts in other blogs.

  • I commented on UHC's AllForHer blog, regarding the dynamics of communication and wives who choose to help their husbands on this adventure even though it's not their top preference, at "Feeling frustrated and happy"

  • In the context of discussing cuckholding, an activity far off my personal "radar" screen, Mistress Laura's Boy talked eloquently about how important and satisfying it is to be controlled. As this is the center of what I love (as far as I've been able to tell), it was very satisfying to see it in someone else's words.

  • Tom Allen wrote the best account of how submissive desires got brought in to an existing marriage that I have ever read, bar none. It's in two parts and very very much worth reading. Scary. Moving. Inspiring. And something I could see sharing with my beloved. Currently one of my favorite posts of all time because I want the courage to do the hard work he describes, so that we can get our lives and relationship to a place like that.

  • I haven't read all of Ms. Rika's site in along time, but I remember her essays well: one no nonsense attempt to separate fantasy from reality. Googling, I happened upon a short thread that, in her characteristically direct style, makes short work of the "stealth submission" concept. The nut of it is here.

  • Saratoga wrote a couple of amazing posts on teamwork and femdom relationships. Which brought up all sorts of thoughts for me on equality, equity, and sameness. He also mused on whether FemDom relationships were more intense than FLRs and vanilla relationships. Finally, a question about submission versus the "Knight and Lady" metaphor. I commented, with moderate coherence, but there's a ton of stuff here.

  • Candace wrote an interesting post on communication and language, and the effect of moving to an FLR in a marriage. The comments were good too - mostly reinforcing my feelings about how differently we tend to communication, and making me hopeful that moving to an FLR might have beneficial effects on the communications issues my love and I face.

  • "Her" wrote a post on "training" "pet" (aka "him" I guess). In what was almost an aside, she mentioned "it is his job to tell me what care he needs." It was enough of an aside that I didn't focus on it at the time, and I was more struck by her care and concern for him. It really felt like the kind of relationship I'd like to build. But other commentors noticed the "needs" piece and posted eloquently about it. And "Her" said that it was one of the more difficult areas of their relationship. Certainly it's one of the most challenging ones for me in my relationship.

  • Candace wrote an interesting post questioning the relationship between sex, love, and submission. It started a good comment thread, including a very insightful comment by Queen'sKnight1 on agape versus eros. His comment included the following:

    It has been said that sex leads a man to love and love leads a Woman to sex. i think that in a good relationship, the two are intertwined. my birthday passed recently and W/we celebrated on Saturday night. i had to lay completely still as my Wife tickle tortured my entire body with Her tongue. Then, for six or seven times, She impaled Herself on me and brought me to the edge, withdrawing at the last moment. When She withdrew for the last time, i lay cuddling Her, literally shaking all over, almost in tears because of the overwhelming unrequited lust i felt for Her. Yet it was a sweet mixture of eros lust and agape worship at the same time. With the lust unsatisfied, the love of Her as my dearest friend is helped to remain in full bloom as well.

    My birthday too recently passed, alas with no such interaction, though that's been my fantasy for years. That feeling of "overwhelming unrequited lust" for my wife is what I get a hint of when she chooses not to have me release when we have sex. But it's all to seldom.

  • "Lady Julia" writes about masturbation and control. That kind of control I find incredibly erotic.

  • "her" on why she trains "pet". Beautiful and sweet and somehow close to what I want.

  • "Saratoga" writes the best description I've ever read of what it feels like when pain and pleasure intertwine. This is so hard to describe and this post really sums it up for me.

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