Thanks to all the wonderful people who commentted on "out of sorts." It was a good way to get started on a reflection as to why I'm here, what I'm trying to do, and what I'm learning.
VeezKnight, who I respect a lot, pointed out that what I'm doing here "is less than honest." I can explain; I can't excuse: at least one thing seems to be coming clear to me with regard to this aspect of my personality...
I am a coward
Not proud of that, but it does explain a lot. And I don't expect it to be permanent.
Lady Julia hit the mark, as this has been the first place in 10 years or more where I've really felt I can "be myself." Part of that is exploring how I feel about all those pieces of myself, how I choose to express them, and what they mean in the larger context of my life.
When playing around with this with my beloved wife and interacting with others at "munches" and such, things obviously get much more complicated. One of the critiques of on-line relationships and communications is that the "bandwidth" is much narrower than in "real life" and much is lost.
In this case, I think something important may also be gained, as we act and are judged by our words, rather than how we look, or what our body-language says. I suspect it also helps some of us (that would be me) avoid doing stupid things out of desperation, or out of the "kid in the candy store" effect, or out of the "I've never been here before and I may never be here again, so I want it all NOW!" All things that I think I've fallen prey to.
So what I'm looking forward to is the constancy that coming back here every day brings, and the perspective I gain on myself from looking at where I've been. The absolutely fabulous comments from people and the sense of community have been an unexpected and wonderful bonus.